Monday, August 30, 2010

Irony In Motion

I love irony, and I was a living manifestation of it this morning while driving to work.  As I've mentioned here before, I am studying the music for the High Holy Days at the Temple here in Redwood City and as a result of that, I will be at all the services (all except one which is on the same evening as a lecture on new emerging therapies for MS which I plan to attend).  Well, as I was driving to work, I was listening to the music of one of my most recent musical discoveries - Straight No Chaser (10 acapella men who have been singing together since 1996 when they met at college - Liza told me about them), and some of the tunes happen to be Christmas carols.  Now I love Christmas carols - I know all the lyrics and harmonies because we used to celebrate Christmas and that was one of my favorite parts - and as I was singing along at the top of my voice, cruising along the freeway, I was struck by the irony of it all.  I don't know if irony is the correct expression, but in any case, what a wonderful metaphor for who I am - Christmas music today, Jewish music tomorrow, who knows what on Wednesday?  Irony, dicohotomy, who cares, I love it.

Now you might wonder why we celebrated Christmas, since most of you know I am Jewish with the family name of Droshnicop.  It's because we had a wonderful mother who was very universal in her religious beliefs.  What mattered to her was the joy and the love.  That meant we celebrated all the holidays that involved celebrating and eating - Christmas, Easter, Passover.  We had a Christmas tree which we decorated on Christmas Eve while listening to/watching Amahl And The Night Visitors on tv (don't you dare, don't you dare, don't you dare touch my mother, tra la la), we had a Santa Claus face on our front door which lit up, we had colored lights on the trees on either side of the front door, and we had our own traditions for exchanging presents - three for each of us.  We'd go shopping in the evenings with her while most families were home having dinner.  We'd go into the dining room two at a time to wrap the presents for the other members of our family.  We'd play the piano and sing Christmas carols.  All of us except our father, who disapproved of and disliked all of it.  His only concession was to come in and sing Good King Wenceslas, offkey.  Why that particular carol I have no idea.  Easter was fun, too.  We'd color Easter eggs and she'd hide them, and there would be baskets filled with fake grass, jelly beans, and little goodies into which we would then place the eggs we found hidden the next morning.  Passover was the traditional meal with the symbols and the Haggadahs and the singing and the drinking of wine (grape juice for us).  The main thing is that everything was fun.

So my trip down the freeway this morning led to a trip down Memory Lane.

A wonderful honor has been bestowed upon me.  A friend from the Support Group, who has a beautiful blog called Musing by Moonlight (I recommend it to everyone - her name is Jamie Dedes and she is a writer and a poet and ray of light - the link is http://musingbymoonlight.com/), has give me two  Blog awards - one is The Elegant Blog Award and, the one I'm most excited about, The Singing In The Rain Award.  When I asked her what that meant, she responded: as in doing fun stuff and smiling even though the clouds are out and the rain sometimes pours down (as in our health challenges et al.)  Isn't that great?  I accept that one proudly!

Speaking of Jamie, she described our Support Group on her blog so perfectly that I would like to include it here.   I asked her permission which she granted on the condition that I add the following: copyright Jamie Dedes 2010 all rights reserved.  As I said, she is a writer and needs to protect her words, which I understand and respect.  Here is what she wrote:

My other much beloved quality-of-life saver is my Group. Of course, it’s not mine. It’s ours. This is a Group that is sponsored by a Buddhist center near home. Its members all have life-threatening illnesses, yet lead productive and joy-filled lives while buying time. We are led by the dearest, kindest human being, a Buddhist chaplain, whose kindness is so deep and consistent I tear to think about it and him. The Group is composed of people from all different religious traditions. Buddhism doesn’t seek to proselytize and does respect all religions, so this is possible. The diversity just serves to enrich the experience. Each of us knows inherently that our illness can be a spiritual path if we choose to use it that way … and we do. That’s one of the things I love about us.  I wanted a group that was spiritually based, not medically based. I believe this whole trip called “life” is a spiritual exercise not a material one. So this Group is consistent with my personal philosophy and value. The Group has turned out to be one of the great joys of my life. Each person within it is heroic, generous, compassionate, and very, very dear.

I couldn't have said it any better.  Now you can see how lucky I am.

It's time for Poker Night.  Enough of this philosophizing, I'm going to go have some fun!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Kid Is All Right

Well, it's been another month, and what a month it's been.  Where do I start?  I'll start with an update on the MS.  The most exciting news is that I have a new brace.  It's made out of carbon fibre, is very light and goes on my right leg, which is the weaker leg and the one where I have trouble lifting my foot.  The bottom part slips into the shoe and you velcro the top just under the knee.  You can read a description of it here: http://www.kineticr.com/noodle.html.  It helps me to lift my foot, to feel more stable and to walk or stand for a longer period of time.  Carla even commented that I walk just like a normal person when I have it on.  Hmmm.  Do I want to be a normal person?  Haven't I been trying all my life not to be like everyone else?  Oh well.  In any case, I love it.  I'm still going to physical therapy once a week at Stanford Medical Center, I'm still taking the oral drug Ampyra which is helps with my energy level and a little bit with the walking, I'm still attending the monthly lectures at Stanford, and I'm still trying to decide whether to take the injectable drug.  The lecture this week was by a yoga teacher from NY (who drinks cawfee) who was diagnosed with MS 10 years ago and was in a wheelchair until she started yoga classes.  She's bouncy and energetic and jumping all over the place.  Although she gives MS all the credit for her recovery, she is also on the drug Copaxone (which is the one I would take if and when I decide to do that) and intends to remain on it.  Next month will be Art Therapy.  It's a wonderful program which I'm really enjoying.  I still use the cane, but only when it's necessary and I'm tired.  I don't want to become too dependent on it.  And I've found there's a yoga class at the YMCA on Mondays at 5:30 so I'm planning on trying it out this Monday after work.

My support group has periodic potlucks, and this month's took place up in the hills among these majestic redwood trees.  Our hostess, a poet, lives in a cottage surrounded and embraced by these wonderful trees and we all spent a magical afternoon there.  Just about everyone in this group has some kind of artistic talent (myself unfortunately NOT included) and we were treated to poetry readings, bagpipe playing, guitar playing and song, and a performance by a trained Shakespearean actor, all while we were basking in the sun and splendor of our surroundings.  I was still on a high from it the next day.  I feel so lucky to know and be accepted by these people.

My group of friends from high school who have found and "friended" me on Facebook is growing by leaps and bounds.  Some of them have become close friends and daily email correspondents in a very short period of time.  I've learned something from this.  When I would first receive the "friend" request, I would look them up in the yearbook.  If I didn't recognize them, or felt we wouldn't have anything in common, I would ignore the request.  My original Facebook high school friend, Lyn, encouraged me to not be so closed minded and she was right.  None of us is who we were then - in fact, most of us weren't anyone at all, we were like fetuses, still developing.  I'm delighting in the new friends I'm making online, especially since we all have this wicked New York sense of humor.  I don't have to explain to anyone that I was just kidding!

I had a bad dream last night about Deja.  I guess I still haven't completely let go of wanting her in my life and mourning the loss of her.  I still don't get it.  Kimberly and her husband had their annual "Thanksgiving in February...er August "(it's usually in February but they've been renovating their house, so they had it in August and it served as a housewarming as well).  I went and had a wonderful time, but I kept wondering whether Arlene and Wayne would be there.  They weren't, and I don't know whether that was because of me or not.  It's been almost two years now since I've talked to or seen them.  Doesn't everyone find that strange?  I just don't know how people can go from being supportive, loving and close, to.....nothing, nada, zilch....overnight.  I will never understand that.  I guess the phrase out of sight out of mind was coined for a reason.

In case anyone might worry that I'm sad, don't, because I'm not.  I have a wonderful life, and I'm grateful for it every minute of the day.

I kind of had a job offer the other day.  It came through Liza, just like the one I have now did.  She knows an appraiser here in Redwood City who is looking for an office manager.  It turns out I used to use this appraiser!  Redwood City really is a small world.  I talked to her, but the timing isn't right.  We've just started our annual audit at work and I couldn't possibly leave before the end of the year.  In addition, I do not see myself working full-time 5 days a week.  How would I get anything done, go to all these doctor appointments, work out at the gym, meet people for lunch, drink my lattes and read the paper, go play with Carla or Liza or Trish or Donna or Judy?  How would I do that?  However, it did make me realize how much I deeply want to and need to work locally.  It motivated me to polish up my resume, finish my training of Quickbooks, and start to get the word out.

In the meantime, I've discovered a solution for the stressful commute.  As long as I don't go to work until 10-10:30 AM, the ride isn't that bad.  It's the coming home that's so horrendous and has me so frazzled.  Well, I was invited to dinner a couple of weeks ago to the home of a friend who lives in Palo Alto - that's a little more than two thirds of the way home from work.  She lives right off of El Camino Real, a wide street that runs up and down the Peninsula, including very close to my house, and I can get to El Camino Real fairly quickly from work on a little freeway called 237.  It's not as hectic as Fwy 101 and I don't have to cross over as many lanes when I'm in the commuter lane.  Plus I'd read recently that they'd synchronized the lights on it.  And sure enough, they have.  By taking that road instead of Fwy 101, it takes me about 15 minutes longer, but I arrive home relaxed and peaceful, instead of frazzled and ready to drop.  This is a huge improvement and has probably added 10 years to my life!

The High Holy Days are almost upon us.  This will be very interesting - I don't think I've ever attended these services in my life.  What I do for the love of music.  Actually, I've been enjoying attending the classes and I like the people.

Well, as Bugs Bunny used to say, That's All Folks!