Only Two More Days!

Only two more days until the estate sale. I can't believe we're here already. The team has been wonderful - I couldn't have chosen a better company. We've already sold all the antiques, a lot of the clothes, all the fine crystal, the peacock, the entry table and mirror, most of the ivory. They have certain customers who get private invitations to come before the public comes and they pay top dollar. We've had people in here every day all this week, all day. I'm exhausted, but I'm also exhiliarated. I'm beginning to get very excited and I can't wait to move into the carriage house. Francine is going with me tomorrow to do some measuring so I can make final decisions on what furniture to bring, so that I can sell what I don't bring. I'm not going to be here during the sale - I've made plans for all three days. Wayne, however, is planning to be here to keep an eye on things. When I come home Sunday night, there's not going to be very much furniture. All the dishes and pots and pans I've been using will be in boxes, because we don't want to risk anyone buying them, so it's going to be very difficult to live here. I'm going to try to arrange the move for as soon as possible after the sale. I've interviewed one company already, and I'll probably just go with them. Deja's using them for the two antiques she's buying and they come highly recommended by friends of hers. What a journey this has been. And it's not over, because I'll be starting a whole new life once I move. How many people get to say that at my age?

One Week To Go

Today is the first of August. This month will be full of changes for me. The estate sale will be Friday, Saturday and Sunday, August 8, 9 and 10, from 10-4. Tell all your friends and come yourself. Some friends have already come by and all have made purchases. The liquidators have said that they've never seen an estate sale like this one - we have the equivalent of 3-4 houses. It's unbelievable. I knew we had a lot of stuff, but it really hits home when you see it all displayed. Every night I fall into bed totally exhausted, and then I wake up in the morning and get back to work. Right now I'm working on the office, tossing out old files, finding treasures (all of Larry Negri's recipes!), creating a landfill of paper. I'll be working on this all weekend. I have to get the office, the closet in the guest bathroom and the kitchen totally finished by Sunday night, so that when they come on Monday they can finish pricing everything. I'm getting a little nervous - I don't know how I'll get it all done in time, but I know I will. I'm hoping to move some of my things to the carriage house beforehand. I've put red dots on everything I'm keeping, but I've been warned that people who shop at estate sales don't respect red dots. If they really want it, they remove the dot. So I'll have to hide all my smaller items, either in the shed or a closet or by taking it to Carla's. I'm also going to make a list of the furniture I'm keeping for the staff to have, just in case. The company I'm using has been really great. They're trying to sell the high end, unique items before the estate sale, thus getting higher prices. They had their CD/book buyer come in a few days ago and he paid $2,000 for what he took, which is really very good for used CDs and books. They took the entire jade and ivory collection into San Francisco to a gallery and have already sold most of the ivory and some of the jade. I also gave John some of my good jewelry to sell in the city. Bonnie, who is arranging and pricing the clothing, took a whole bunch of it home with her to try to sell in private appointments, and she's going to have buyers come to the house to see the fur coats. They're doing their best to make sure I get the most money possible out of this, and they've also been very understanding and sensitive.

The other change in August is, of course, my move. I can't wait. When I go to sleep at night, I imagine I'm in my new bedroom in the carriage house. I've changed my email address to laureldruce@gmail.com. This way I never have to change it again, even if I end up moving somewhere else.

The Terminators

The Terminators, or rather the liquidators, arrived yesterday, en masse. There was an army of them and they swooped in and sucked the trash out. I never saw people move so fast. It was a little overwhelming and at times frightening, as I saw parts of my life being carried out the door, to destinations unknown. They divided everything into three categories - high value and therefore to be displayed inside the house, garage sale value and therefore to be gathered and eventually taken to the flea market, and no value and therefore off to the dumps. Unfortunately I had my doctor's appointment in the middle of the day, and I came home to find, much to my dismay, that some very important personal items were in the truck on their way to the dump. Luckily the truck never made it to the dump because of traffic, and I've been told the drivers found these items this morning when they searched the bags in the truck and they will be delivered to me tomorow. The Liquidator boss was explaining to me that my situation was a little unusual for them, in that usually the people aren't there when they're clearing out the house. I asked is that because they've already moved, and he kind of hemmed and hawed and didn't really answer, and then I suddenly realized it was because they were usually dead! So I apologized to him for the fact that I was still alive.

Things are progressing very quickly and I'm beginning to believe that we will actually be ready on time. I like the women who are working on pricing and arranging very much. I definitely feel I made a good decision in picking this company.

The doctor has ordered a myriad of tests because I've been losing so much weight. I feel I'll gain some of it back once I'm in my own place, but just in case, I've been told to start supplementing my meals with Ensure.

The house is starting to look nice now, and I'm beginning to remember why we fell in love with it in the first place. It'll be a bittersweet parting.

I'm Moving Into The Carriage House!

I called Carla today and notified her officially that I'm going to be her new tenant. I'm so happy. It just feels right. Carla already feels like an old friend. She's a francophile like I am - her coffee table books are French Dreams and French Tea - and we keep talking about French movies and French singers and French food. I told her how I'd found an old steno pad that I'd used to take notes during a French cooking class I'd taken when I lived in Paris, and all the notes are in French. Even though there are only two closets in the entire apartment (the house is almost 100 years old), there's lots of wall space so I'm going to be able to bring more furniture than I'd originally planned, which will help with the storage. I can't wait until my first morning when I wake up and take my morning coffee out on the balcony overlooking that gorgeous garden. I bet I sleep better that first night than I've slept in months. It's such a relief to know I have a place to go to and to be able to plan what I keep and don't keep. My sister kept telling me to stop worrying and to trust that everything would work out. She was so right.

There are so many things about the carriage house that make it perfect for me for right now, but one thing that everyone has pointed out is that there will be somebody nearby just in case something happens to me, ie I fall or something. Everyone's been so worried about me, going up and down these stairs and moving boxes and getting physically tired with no one around.

So I go to sleep tonight with sweet dreams in my head. The clock is still ticking, but there's a yellow brick road leading to a happy destination.

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Christian the Lion - the full story (in HQ)

This is so uplifting and a wonderful message I want to send to all my terrific friends out there.

Stuff and a great video

I'm buried in stuff. I can't believe how much STUFF I've accumulated. It's suffocating. I can't wait to get to my new, small apartment, wherever it might be, and start all over again and stop accumulating. I will never do this again, I promise.

A good friend sent me the most wonderful, uplifting video today. I'm posting it on this website so everyone can see it. Please do look at it, and know that I am thinking of you, of all my wonderful friends and family who have been so supportive of me.

I'm going to look at the carriage house again tomorrow, along with Wayne and Arlene. I've taken measurements of all the furniture I'd like to keep and Wayne is bringing a tape measure and is going to sketch the floorplan. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm also bringing my camera. I've also been looking at other listings and am going to look at a cottage in Woodside on Sunday. This is my life now - looking for apartments, sorting through STUFF, trying to plan my future and figure out how I'm going to survive financially, trying to stay healthy (everyone complains I'm too thin, but I think it's the stress and I'll gain weight once I get settled), writing my journal daily, taking photos to document the process of getting the house ready for the sale, etc.

The estate sale will be August 8, 9 and 10, so please tell anybody in the area to come by. I won't be here myself, so you don't have to worry about the prices!

The Clock Is Ticking

The estate sale liquidators come a week from today. Then they'll be here 3 weeks setting things up for the estate sale, which will take place August 8, 9 and 10. I'm starting to get a little nervous. When I come back Sunday night, August 10th, a large part of my life from the past 30 years will be gone. I think it's going to be hard living here for the final 3 weeks. I'll be concentrating on looking for an apartment, packing my things and getting them ready for storage, taking care of change of address notifications, looking for a laptop, etc. My life will be very different. The plan right now is, if I haven't found an apartment by end of August, to move in with Deja for a month or two until I find something. Roxy will have gone back to college, so I can have her room. It will be strange not having my own place, but it might be liberating as well. I will take advantage of that time to recover and heal, but also to travel and visit friends and family.

I've had an idea for future employment. Someone suggested to me that I try commercial mortgages. This could be a good fit. I already have the tools, but it's different enough that it would feel like something new, I could work from my home, and I could earn good income, more than from residential mortgages. If anyone knows anyone who is looking for an intern or for someone like me, please let me know. The best part is that I would be able to do my writing on the side.

Most of my time is spent getting the house ready for the estate sale. Wayne is here almost every day now, as we get close to our deadline. Tick, tock, tick, tock.....

No Carriage House

I just wanted to let everyone know that I've released the dream of moving into that carriage house. The owner, Carla, was not very receptive to the idea of installing a stairlift, which I totally understand, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I cannot rent a place with stairs. One of the major appeals of the carriage house was that I could rent it right away and start moving in gradually a little at a time. Well, how can I do that when I can't carry anything up the stairs?

I was a little down today, but I've recovered and am moving on. As Trish says, I've broken the barrier of at least having seen one apartment I could see myself being happy in. Up until now they were all depressing. So I'm back to looking.

I was gathering up all the videotapes I've recorded over the years to take to be recycled and I found a videotape of my aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary bash over 10 years ago. I'd written them a poem and read it out loud at the front of the room - I wish I could post a photo of me from it on this blog. I looked EXACTLY like Natalie Wood! I know I'd always been told that, but it's been awhile since I looked like her so I'd forgotten. I had the big hair and heavy dark eyeliner around my eyes and even the way I spoke...it was just like her. There was a documentary on her the other night that I'd watched so she was fresh in my mind. Wow.

Happy July 4th - Freedom Day!

This has been one of the best July 4ths I've ever had. The day started out with LOTS of phone calls - Wayne and Arlene, Brenda, Carla (I'll explain her later). I barely had time to get ready for Trish's arrival. She drove down with her friend Ronnie who wanted to buy one of my microwaves and maybe some other things, and they wanted to take me out for lunch. They got here around 1:30. The first sign that today was going to be a good day was when I went into a part of my closet I hadn't gone through yet and tried on some shorts. Most of them were huge, but one pair not only fit perfectly, but I loved them! They're beige cargo shorts that flare out a little like in the 1940's. It was like finding my treasures in the garage (ie the French espresso maker, the water pipe, etc.) We went straight to the restaurant since I was really hungry. What a magical place it was. I'd been there once after it first opened, but it was in winter and we'd eaten inside. It's called Angelica's Bistro and it's in the back of an antique store. I wanted to go somewhere where you could eat outside and I knew they had this wonderful garden in the back with all these Italian fountains imported from Italy. We went straight to the garden, walking down this narrow path framed by trees and lined with ornate, wonderful fountains. They gave us the best table - right next to the owner Peter, a Londoner who is outgoing and warm and who immediately welcomed us and started telling us all about the restaurant and the evening musical concerts they put on. He couldn't believe we were all Senior Citizens (well, I will be in a couple of years) and said we made him look forward to getting there. We were there several hours. Each of us loved our entrees and we shared a scrumptious dessert crepe. Then I took them for a walking tour of downtown Redwood City, which they loved. We didn't get back home until 5 PM and it was 7 PM by the time they left. It was a wonderful, delightful, exhiliarating day and I loved being with my sister and one of her close friends.

Now I'll get to who Clara is. I found the perfect apartment. I fell in love with it as soon as I saw it. First yesterday morning I saw the cottage and it was horrid. I won't even give any details. I was extremely disappointed, and then after that I had some upsetting news, and I was in tears when Trish called me on my cell phone, wanting to find out how the cottage was. She talked to me for awhile, and offered to come that evening if I needed her. What I did next is an important sign of how far I've come in the last 6 months. Instead of just canceling my plans for the rest of the day (to look at more apartments, run errands, go to the bank, etc.) and going home to be depressed and cry, I pulled myself together and carried through with the items on my list. I saw a few places in San Carlos, which were all horrible, then walked into this really pretty, peaceful looking building to inquire about apartments. I thought it was strange there were so many really really old people milling about in wheelchairs and walkers and it turned out it was an Assistd Living place! Well, I'm not there yet. Then I called Carla to see if I could come by and see her place. She'd placed an ad on Craig's List and I'd called her that morning. I liked her right away and was excited about her place, but there were stairs involved - it's the second story of a 2-story house above where she lives. She'd encouraged me to come see it anyway, and I felt I needed a lift.

Well. It's paradise. It's a carriage house built in 1910 set in the most beautiful English garden. The master bedroom even has a balcony overlooking the garden. It's in a lovely part of Redwood City and I've been wanting to stay in Redwood City. Carla and I hit it off right away and I fell in love with the whole package - the setting, the apartment, living above her. I knew she liked me, too. But there was the issue of the stairs. I came home and called Deja, Trish, Wayne and Kate. They all agreed the stairs presented a major problem and counseled me not to go back and to continue looking. However, they all pointed out that this was a good sign, at least I'd found something I liked. So I released it and left a message for Carla reluctantly telling her I couldn't handle the stairs.

Then this morning two things happened. Carla called and said she really wanted me to have it and asking if there was any way I could manage it. I said no, and we agreed to keep in touch and she invited me to come by sometime for a drink or tea. Then Wayne called and said, since my heart was so taken by this apartment, that I needed to find a solution and he suggested getting an electric stairlift installed. Hmm. He'd even found a website and a company. I later looked on Craigs List and there are several companies around. Hmm. I started thinking more and more about it. It seems to me that what is most important for me right now is to be someplace peaceful, healing, where I can be happy and recuperate from all the trauma of the last several years. I can always move someplace else after a year or two. She doesn't even want me to sign a 1-year lease - it's month-to-month. I took Trish and Ronnie by there after our tour of Redwood City and they were enchanted by the garden. Trish said she had told me no yesterday to see how attached to it I was. We all talked about how my MS improves when I'm happy or away from the house and there's the possibility that I might not even need the stairlift. Arlene even said that going up and down stairs is good exercise, especially for the bones. So I left a message for Carla asking her to call me because I might have a way to make it work. I'm going to ask if she is open to the idea of my installing one later on if I need it, but I would try it without at first. It wouldn't be like living here, where I'm constantly going up and down the stairs. Once I'm in the apartment, everything is level.

I'm not going to give any more details about it in case I end up not getting it. And if I don't get it, that's ok, too, because now I know there are apartments out there like this. But it would really make the next month a lot easier if I knew I already had a place to go to. It would even facilitate my choosing what to keep and what to sell.

I'll end this VERY LONG post (sorry) with a very nice thing that Trish said at lunch. Ronnie is taking a class on "Awakening The Joy" and she thought I might be interested in taking it, too. Trish said I didn't need it, because even though I've had many low periods in the last few years, I've never lost my capacity to feel joy, and that is so true. I'll bounce back and forth multiple times in one day. I'm only a song or a joke or a good meal or good book or being with a good friend away from feeling deep joy - no matter what's going on in my life. Trish had asked me once, a long time ago, if I'd thought about what I wanted written on my tombstone. My answer was "She never lost her sense of humor." I've never lost my joy, my joie de vivre. I am so thankful for that.

So Happy 4th - Happy Day of Freedom.