Health Update

As most of you know, I started taking a pill called Ampyra in May 2010.  It's not what they call a disease modifier - in other words, it does not stop or even slow the progression of the disease.  It just helps with certain symptoms.  It's a time release pill and only stays in your system about 12 hours.  The dosage is twice daily.  It immediately helped me with my energy.  I'd been experiencing huge bouts of fatigue, collapsing onto my couch upon returning from work and not moving for the rest of the night.  The day I took my first pill, I scrubbed my apartment from top to bottom.  My wonderful friends Ulla and Joachim arrived the next day from Vancouver for a visit and I was totally energized the entire visit.  The pill was also supposed to help improve my walking.  Not only did it not do that, it seemed to make it worse.  Since taking this pill, I can only walk short distances before I start having trouble lifting my right foot and I start to shuffle.  It's been getting worse and worse, but I continued to take the pill because it was helping me so much with my energy.  However, I started to notice a few months ago that it wasn't helping me with that anymore either.  I googled the pill a few months ago and noticed that a lot of people were experiencing deterioration in their walking like I was.

I saw my MS doctor on Tuesday and he immediately agreed that I should stop the pill.  It seems he's been hearing this from other patients as well.  I'm now taking the pill just once a day for a week and then I will stop it altogether.  My leg still becomes heavy if I walk too far, but my legs are remaining strong for almost 22-23 hours whereas before they would weaken right before I was due to take the second pill, or after 12 hours.  So this is already an improvement.

Which leaves the fatigue.  I have started a nutrition program called Isagenix.  My friend Ed has been on it for 4 years and it has done amazing things for his health.  Before starting it, he had an ulcer, high cholesterol and was pre diabetic.  Within months all of that was gone.   He also lost 24 pounds within 3 months.  He had told me about this program a year ago, but I wasn't interested because I don't need to or want to lose weight and I kept thinking of it as a weight loss program even though he told me it also just a general wellness program.  However, two things happened recently.  First, my hair has been falling out and thinning for several months.  My dermatologist told me it was due to my not eating enough protein.  The second thing that happened is that my friend Ge sent me a video of an interview with a doctor who had cured her MS symptoms (not the disease, just the symptoms) purely through changing her diet to a paleolithic diet.  That means gluten free, lots of fruits and vegetables, no processed foods, only grass fed meat, etc.  She had been diagnosed with MS in 2000 and within 3 years was in a wheelchair and unable to even sit at the dinner table.  She had taken the injectable drugs right after her diagnosis, but that did not slow the progression.  The medical community had nothing else to offer her.  So she started doing her own research which led her to the connection between diet and the brain.  She is now hiking and riding bicycles, etc.  Her name is Dr. Terry Wahls and she has a website at www.terrywahls.com if you're interested in reading about her.

Well, this obviously got my attention.  I don't think I could follow a diet like she does - I love my food too much.  But I could do something like Isagenix.  Instead of the weight loss program, I'm on the Wellness program.  It's been less than a week and I'm already feeling changes in my body.  I can't put my finger on it, but I feel more in balance, more toned, and I definitely have more energy.  I'm finally getting things done that I'd been putting off for months for lack of energy.  The nutrition program consists of drinking 1 oz of a liquid that is packed with minerals and nutrients every morning, and making a shake from a powder once a day, usually at lunch time.  I have my normal breakfast and dinner.  I'm also finding that I'm eating smaller meals and more often during the day, which I've always heard is a healthier way to eat.

I am very hopeful and optimistic about this.  I know there are no guarantees.  But I have always preferred managing my health through alternative avenues rather than drugs.  The injectable drug they've been wanting me to take all these years is called Copaxone.  Well, I just read an article where they're finding that this drug puts a spot on your liver.  Already my hair is not falling out as much.  Putting more vitamins and nutrients and minerals into my body certainly can't hurt - my hope is that it will also improve my balance and mobility and energy.  I will keep you posted on this here.

By the way, the doctor thought I looked great.  He did a series of tests on me and said everything looked great too (reflexes, eye movement, strength, etc.).

The new drug I wrote about previously - Biogen B-12 - which they hoped would be approved by the FDA and available by the end of this year will actually not be available until next November.  Maybe by then I won't need it!

Happy Holidays and New Year, everyone.

New Life Part Two

It's been a long time since my last post.  A lot of what I'd been planning to write about in my next post is old news now.  This is the perfect time though because I am literally reinventing my life again and starting anew.  Is it really Part Two?  or Three?  Six?  I've lost count.

Thursday was my last day of work at  Child Advocates in Milpitas. It was bittersweet in that I loved working there, both because of the work and because of the people (and the steady paycheck wasn't too bad either), but the commute was getting harder and harder for me as my fatigue level was increasing.  I've spent the last 3 months training my replacement so I leave confident that they are in good hands.  I came in to work on Thursday to gifts and cards, a goodbye lunch in a nice restaurant, and tearful hugs and promises to keep in touch.

The good news is that I've already started my new business of techno tutoring.  I have two regular clients, a  new one that I'm seeing for the first time on Tuesday, and another couple of clients that have booked me for the end of November and who will also be ongoing clients.  This is all without having done any marketing or promotion yet.  They're mostly referrals from friends, but the one next week is from a neighborhood website where I'd posted my profile.  I also have several leads on the bookkeeping business.  I am feeling very confident that I will be able to support myself with these two businesses and at the same time be able to work around my sporadic relapses and bouts of fatigue.  AND be able to travel, which had become a problem at Child Advocates - I needed to be there at certain times to do payroll and end of the month financial statements.  More about upcoming travel later.

While still talking about my new business, I've had another wonderful thing happen as a result of my iPhone having been stolen last April.  I think I've already written about all the freebies the manager of the Palo Alto Apple store has given me to make up for the bad experience I had when I went to purchase a replacement phone.  He had also talked me into installing the new operating system Lion onto my used Macbook, even though I usually like to wait until all the bugs in a new operating system have been fixed.  He gave me Lion for free, but I immediately started having problems - my mail program kept crashing, etc.  After several visits to the store to have them try and fix it, he finally emailed me and said to bring in my 2009 used Macbook so that he could upgrade it.  Well, what he did was swap it for a brand new Macbook PRO with double the storage, double the memory and double the speed along with updated software.  For free!  I was astounded.  Especially once I realized how important this was for my business.  Apple has discontinued the Macbook.  None of my clients have the Macbook, they all have either the Macbook Pro or the desktop iMac, and I would not have been able be the expert that I am advertising myself as.  It would have cost me around $1500 to get one new so I could keep up with my clients.  Everything is working out perfectly.

Now about future travel.  In March my good friend Marv Rubinstein will be celebrating his 90th birthday.  He is legendary for his exotic birthday parties (a Circle Line boat circling the island of Manhattan with dinner and dancing, dinner in Paris and brunch in Versailles, the Awahnee hotel in Yosemite to mention a few - I attended the first two) and this one will be in Puerto Vallarta.  I had promised Marv I wouldn't miss another one, and I'm not.  I'm going to this one, along with Brenda, and we will be staying with JoAnne Rockower, whom I have been promising to visit since she moved to Puerto Vallarta.

Then in April one of my high school classmates who lives in Palm Springs is putting together a fantastic weekend for around 35 of us from Great Neck - cocktail party at his house, private docent led tours of the Palm Springs museum and Imago Gallery, meals in local restaurants, private tour of Sunnylands (the Annenberg Estate), brunch at his house.  That weekend is definitely going to be a highlight of my new life.

And to cap it all off, Carla and I are finally going to France - to visit my cousin Martine, my friend Rick, and just to satisfy our deep seeded love of all things French.  We haven't fixed a date yet - hopefully next Spring.

I'll end with an update on my health.  The new oral drug, Biogen BG-12, has finished its third clinical trial with outstanding results.  I am definitely going to take it once it's available.  It's the first disease modifying drug I've been willing to take.  I am still taking the oral drug Ampyra, which is not a disease modifier but does help with symptoms like fatigue and walking.  It no longer helps with my walking and doesn't help as much with my fatigue, but I'm still taking it.  I have recently purchased Trekking Poles which are now being used for stability and balance issues as well as for hiking.  I've gone out walking with them once so far (see photo at left) with great success.  They collapse like my cane does so I will be traveling with them.

So I think you've got the picture of my new life - new businesses, new drugs, new computer, new poles, new travel - not too bad for an old lady of 66!

Good News and More Good News

Regarding the car, the news couldn't be any better.  Not only will the body shop (Magnussen Carwest for those in the area - they're wonderful) be able to fix my car, they are also removing the expired yellow commuter lane stickers, fixing the remaining damage from the raw eggs that had been thrown at her in February, and, in addition to replacing the 3 damaged tires and rims with new ones, they're throwing in a 4th tire and rim for free.  I'm essentially going to end up with a brand new car.  And the icing on the cake is that the insurance company is waiving the $500 deductible.  The repair estimate is $9,000, which says a lot about how much a Prius retains its value - the year is 2006.  I should have her back by the end of the month.  In the meantime, I'm tooling around town in a fire engine red Toyota Corolla Matrix Hatchback - not bad.

The next bit of good news concerns the MRIs I had done last month.  The scan of the brain showed no change from last year.  The scan of the spine also showed no new lesions, although some of them MIGHT be a slight bit larger and others MIGHT be a slight bit smaller.  It was hard to tell.  What was obvious though is that there is a lot of activity along the spinal cord.  My doctor said that based on all that activity (in other words, a lot of lesions), they feel strongly that I should be on some kind of drug.  Now here's the really good news.  They will be coming out with a new disease modifying drug (that means it slows the progression) hopefully by the end of the year and it's an oral drug, not an injectable.  And the best part is that it has a higher success rate (over 50% compared to just 33%), fewer side effects and a higher safety record.  For the first time, I am open to taking one of these drugs.  It's called Biogen B-12 if anyone wants to read up on it.

Now for the really exciting part - my new business card is ready!  I've enclosed an image of it at the top. It is at the printer's as we speak and I should have it next week.  I am already starting to book appointments.  The next step is to design a business card for my bookkeeping business (this one will be much simpler).  Once I get that one, I will start calling on small businesses and medical offices in the area.  And then Ed, my graphic artist friend, will design me a brochure.  My job with the non-profit in Milpitas ends as of October 31, so it is incumbent on me to get these new businesses going promptly!  I welcome any and all referrals.

The mini reunions and discovery of lost high school classmates continue to occur at a faster and faster pace.  I am in charge of creating and maintaining a database - one general one with everyone's information and another one just for the classmates who have still not been found.  It's pretty time consuming but fun and exciting too.  We just heard from someone I'd been extremely friendly with and fond of in HS and I am so happy to be back in touch with him.

Life continues to be fun.  This weekend 6 of the women from the cancer class Carla and I took at the YMCA back in 2008 are spending the weekend at the country home of one of us up in Sonoma, the wine country.  We're bringing sleeping bags and pillows and everyone is taking care of one meal.  Carla and I are handling a breakfast and a lunch, we're all bringing wine plus I'm bringing vodka and my apple and pomegranate martini mixers, as well as my iPod and iPod speakers.  We're calling it a retreat, but I'm not sure that's the right word for it - I do know there will be lots of laughter and good times.

And finally, I think summer is finally here.  The temperature has been averaging in the high 50s to low 60s, but we finally were at mid 80s yesterday.  I haven't even unpacked my chaise lounge on my deck yet - usually I'm out there every day after work, but it's been too cold.  I was even beginning to regret having put away my heaters and brought out my fans.  Hopefully it will stay nice until the Fall.

That's it, folks!

Ongoing Saga of the Trials and Tribulations of LSD

Well, as you can see, my poor Prius has once again been violated - this time without me being at the wheel or even in the car.  She was innocently parked on the street right in front of the carriage house when suddenly there was this loud noise followed by a car alarm.  Carla and I went running out of the house (well, Carla did, I was kind of limping along, being still in my pajamas and socks) and sure enough, this young woman had rammed right into the left rear of my car, pushing her up on the curb and causing the tire and axle to be all twisted.  Her car continued along the street and then careened into the curb where her tire immediately exploded.

To cut a long and painful story short, she was led away in handcuffs (drugs-involved DUI) and my car was towed away to a tow yard.  Today I spoke to the auto body shop that had done such a miraculous job 3 years ago after the stop sign/squad car incident and they have her now where they will inspect her and then let me know whether she is salvageable.  Oy.  Boy do I love that car.  I am getting a rental from Hertz tomorrow (covered by my insurance) but what will I do without my GPS?  My insurance company, CSAA, has been great, as always.  This is my 3rd claim now - the accident with the stop sign (over $13,000 to repair), the stolen iPhone (over $800), and now this.  The miracle is that my rates have never gone up, since none of these were my fault.  I won't even have to pay the deductible this time since the car was parked in front of my house.

I will post the finale to this sad story once I find out whether the car can be fixed or whether I need to purchase a new one.

Now on to the good news.  I finally went to New York and had a WONDERFUL time.  I was lucky with the weather - except for the first day, which was hot and humid and in the 90s, the weather was cool and overcast, and even rained with thunderstorms a couple of days.  My friend Ed picked me up at the airport and we immediately drove to Great Neck, my hometown.  I not only got to see my old house, I was also given a tour by the current owner.  The house was built in 1856 and is an historical landmark. You can tell she respected and revered its origins.  She explained the changes she'd made (all of which I approved) and I described how it had been in my day.  She'd purchased it in 1996 and we had sold it in 1963.  Trish had visited it at some point, I think in the 1980s, and had also been given a tour by the owners at that time, so we knew there had been several owners since the Druces.

I think the most surprising tidbit about my stay on Long Island is that you CANNOT find a good place to have an espresso or caffe latte, except for the occasional Starbucks.  Note that word OCCASIONAL. Every time I would ask for a cappucino, they would nod their head up and down giddily, saying yes yes we have capuccinos, and then point me towards this machine that had the word CAPPUCINO written on it, and which dispensed this gooey sugary concoction that reminded me of coffee you get in the vending machines in train stations.  Yuck.  It wasn't until I was in Manhattan that I was back in civilization with coffee houses every few feet like here in the Bay Area.

I got to see all my wonderful NY friends.  I stayed 3 nights with Cynthia who lives in what I think is considered the West Village.  We were occupied every single second I was with her - dinner in local Italian restaurant, Cooper Hewitt museum for a wonderful exhibit of Van Cleef & Arpels jewelry (the museum itself was a jewel, being the former residence of Andrew Carnegie), a dinner a la Sex In The City with the original foursome (Cynthia, Joan, Karin and myself for those in the know) in a Spanish restaurant where we dined Tom Jones style on gambas al ajllo and lobster washed down with martinis, followed the next day by a wonderful lunch with Marv and Chie where we were also joined by Joan's husband Richard.  That evening Cynthia and I went to a local production of music by Cy Coleman which was delightful.  In between all these activities were nonstop talking and sharing sessions in which we tried to catch up on the last 10+ years.  I also managed to squeeze in some hours of techno-tutoring, teaching her how to use iTunes and giving her music I'd brought on my portable hard drive.

By Friday I was exhausted albeit exhilarated and was happy to accompany Karin home to her peaceful oasis in Bayonne, New Jersey where I spent the next 3 lovely and restful days.  Not to say there wasn't excitement.  We had two glorious dinners sitting outside overlooking the water.  We also spent lots of time catching each other up on the years since my last visit.  Karin, Cynthia and I go way back, to the years I lived in Paris.  We have a lot of shared memories, adventures and experiences.  It was wonderful to be with them both, especially unencumbered by a spouse!  My only regret is that I did not get to spend much time with Joan.  I hope to rectify that on my next visit.

By Monday morning I was refreshed and ready to once more take on New York City.  Again, my wonderful and generous friend Ed came and picked me up in New Jersey.  Otherwise I do not know how I would have managed all the moving around that I did.   We went back to Long Island, this time to Lynbrook where I had spent my first 10 years before moving to Great Neck, for the first of many mini reunions of my 1963 high school graduating class.  There were about 25 of us, each and every one looking terrific and much younger than our years, and we all had an amazingly great time.  I don't quite know how to put into words what is happening with our class.  It turns out a lot of us had either troubled childhoods or insecurities in HS, feeling left out of cliques or the "popular crowd", etc., but enough years combined with life experiences have wiped all that away and we are coming together as people eager and excited to rediscover each other and to pick up where we left off.  We are forging new friendships instead of going back and reminiscing about the past.  There are minireunions and dinners and lunches taking place all over the country now with people who hadn't seen each other for almost 50 years and who for the most part hadn't even known each other back then.  We are also assiduously working on putting together an official 50th reunion.  L.A. had a get together on Sunday (while my car was being wrecked - how rude), I am helping to plan one up here, and Florida is having one in November.

My last 3 nights were spent in a loft in Soho.  I was in 7th heaven.  I've never stayed in that area of the city.  I spent 3 solid days wandering around Soho, Little Italy, Chinatown - as much as my legs would permit me anyway.  It was glorious.

I returned home Friday June 24th to find a vase of flowers on the stairs with a note Welcome Home from Carla.  This really is my home now and I love it.  I received the results of the two MRIs I'd had done before I left (brain and spine) and have an appointment this Thursday to go over them with my doctor.  I'll wait until after that to say anything about them.  Everyone keeps asking about my new business.  Well, I should have my new business card soon, which I will post - it's at the printer's being printed as we speak - and I already have several clients lined up.  My official last day at work is end of October so I know I have to hustle to get this business up and running and supporting me.

Well, that's enough news for now.  To be continued - can the not-so-poor orphan girl from a small affluent town on the fashionable North Shore of Long Island find health, wealth, love and happiness in the City By The Bay?

Tales of MY City

I know I haven't posted for a long time and I also know you want to hear about my trip to New York (fabulous, in one word) and I promise I will write another post talking about that and the results of the latest MRIs and what is happening with the new business and the latest culinary creations by Carla and Liza, but right now I want to talk about the world premiere of the musical Tales of the City which I saw today with Trish.

Yes, it's that Tales of the City, based on the serial which appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle starting May 1976, which then later became a series of 6 books and then finally a miniseries on PBS starring Laura Linney and Olympia Dukakis.   The musical is wonderful.  It's funny and evocative and charming and emotional and clever and extremely entertaining.  The entire cast is excellent, as are the sets, design, choreography, costumes, etc.

But what I really want to talk about is how I related to it and how it affected me.  I arrived in San Francisco in the Fall of 1973, from Europe by way of a 3 week road trip across the USA.  I stayed with my sister Trish at first, as I fully intended to only be here a month or so, after which I would travel up to Canada and then take the train across Canada to eventually arrive in Finland to visit my good friend Ulla who is Finnish but whom I had met in Munich, and then resettle in Paris.

Except that I fell in love with San Francisco.  It seemed to combine all the qualities of my 3 favorite cities: the culture of New York, the cosmopolitanism and sophistication of Paris, and the beauty and joy of Rio de Janeiro which is also situated between a Bay and an Ocean.  I eventually found my own apartment (a studio in Noe Valley) and a job (financial analyst for Fibreboard Corporation).

I don't remember very much about the next 3 years.  The only friends I made also worked at Fibreboard. I hated working for a corporation and I had little in common with the people I met there.  Then one day I met Michel, a Frenchman living in SF.  We became friends and I started doing some work for him on the side.  I loved it and I loved being able to speak French again.  Then Michel moved to Houston, TX to start an import/export company and when he called me to come to Texas and work with him, I jumped at the chance.  Anything to get out of that corporate world.  So I packed up my little green VW bug and drove to Texas.   I lasted 4 months (March through June 1976) after which I gave up on the heat and the mentality and the FOOD (oy) and called my good friend Roger Pearson to fly out and help me drive my two cars back to SF (I'd gotten a good deal on a used Mercedes but still had the bug).

You're probably wondering why I'm writing about all this.  There's a reason.  The day we arrived back n SF a week later is the day my life here really began.  After dropping off my cars at my studio, we went to the bar The Bus Stop on Union Street for a drink and I met Kate Earl, who instantly became one of my closest friends and who still is (even though ironically enough she is now living in Texas).  On the way out, we bumped into friends of Roger's, Ruthie and Bob Shaps, who also became close friends.  Later that week I walked into a cheese shop in Tiburon and picked up a brochure on a cooking class.  I called the teacher that night who was Larry Negri, originally from Rhode Island, and we ended up talking for 3 hours.  I not only ended up taking every class he taught, he also became my friend, my older brother, my mentor, my playmate.  Kate took the classes with me and there we met Dan Cane (and by extension his partner Dick) and Lillian Wendroff (and later her husband Alan who ended up being the one who caused me to meet Elson but we'll forgive him for that).  The 7 of us - Larry, Kate, Dick and Dan, Lillian and Alan and myself - became a village.  We were constantly together.  Kate and I were basically inseparable - some people where she worked even thought we were a couple - and people still remember the parties we used to give.  I still tell people about the New Year's Eve we all spent at Dick and Dan's.  Everyone contributed something and Dick's contribution was a tin of Beluga caviar.  He was so disgusted when we wolfed it down in less than 15 minutes - it had cost him $500!  What a lot of fun memories from that period.

But life continued to get better and richer.  Within a couple of weeks of meeting Kate and then Larry, I met Richard and Rick through my cousin who was visiting from L.A.  Jeff was an actor at that time and was staying with Rick who was also an actor at that time.  Richard and Rick are still good friends to this day, even though they are no longer together - Richard living in Florida and Rick in France with Eric (and yes, Rick, Carla and I are still planning to come visit - I just don't know when yet).

And finally, I got to meet everyone who worked with Kate at Romano Wine Imports since I worked with her at all the wine tastings and thus I met Michael and Francine Filice, who are part of My Village and still extremely close friends.

All this happened in the Fall of 1976, right when Tales of The City was being serialized in the Chronicle.  We all read it religiously.  After all, it was our life being depicted - although instead of being into drugs, we were into food and wine - and we still are.  All these memories came flooding back as I watched this play.  The feeling of being part of a family (Richard used to always say you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends).  The joy, the abandonment, the total non-judgment.  Every day was an adventure and every night we were on the phone with each other.

The first act consisted of recreating this era and introducing the characters.  It reminded me of a Neil Simon or Woody Allen play with one liners being thrust right and left and you could tell which of us in the audience had been around at that time.

The second act was a bit heavier and more emotional.  One of the main characters, Michael "Mouse" Tolliver, had not told his parents he was gay and he finally wrote a letter to his mother (which he sang) in which he told her in a very loving way.  Anna Madrigal had the secret of being a transgender.  One by one all these secrets came out and by the end of the play everyone was accepting of everyone.  My sister and I were both sniffling and choking back tears several times.  One of the things I adore about this city is the lack of judgment and the acceptance of all kinds.

But mainly I was reminded of the first village I had when I came back to SF in 1976 and the village I have now, which includes some of the original members - Kate, Francine.  I have been so lucky to always have been surrounded by loving and supportive friends.  That is what Tales of the City is all about.  And that is why I consider them to be Tales of MY City.

Another Year Older - Another Year Wiser?

It's been a year since I turned 65 and joined Medicare.  There have been a lot of changes in my life since August 8, 2008 when I moved into the Carriage House, but my birthday this year and the people I celebrated it with really brought home to me how much my life has changed and how happy I am with it.  Just about all the people I celebrated with I did not know before that momentous date.  Donna, whom I met last year in Physical Therapy for MS at Stanford and who has become a good friend, and I spent a delightful afternoon at Stanford Shopping Center having lunch and browsing on the day of my birthday - her birthday is two days after mine.  That evening there was a small get together with several of the women from the cancer class Carla and I took at the YMCA two years ago.  The idea was just to get together but they had a surprise for me and had a birthday cake, candles and presents.  That was Thursday.  I also received two separate beautiful bouquets of flowers, one from Brenda and the other from another new friend.  Then on Sunday evening Carla, Judith and Liza threw me another birthday party.  This was very special to me because these three women have become very important to me and make up a large part of my new life.  It was perfect - we had drinks, dinner, watched movies and Carla, of course, made another one of her fabulous creations for dessert.  In a week I'm having dinner with my new friend Ge who is also a Pisces and so we will celebrate both our birthdays together.  I finally feel settled in my new life.  Jane Fonda wrote a book when she turned 60 and she talked about the three separate lives she has led.  I feel the same way - my childhood and college and the years in Paris and then San Francisco as a single woman, my married life as a wife, mother and grandmother, and now this new life which is a combination of the previous two as well as being entirely new with entirely new challenges, surprises, and adventures.  I might be 66 but I feel young and as though my life is really just beginning.

A lot has happened since my last posting.  I did not go to New York in February as I'd originally planned.  Everyone here was very concerned about how I would do in freezing weather there, fearing I might slip and fall, but it was only when my friends in New York, whom I was planning to visit, urged me to wait until the Spring that I reluctantly acquiesced and canceled my flights.  I was feeling a little bummed about it and was talking to Brenda on the phone when she suddenly suggested I come to Seattle instead.  And so I did.  And I had a fantastic time, as I always do when I am with Brenda.  The weather even cooperated - it didn't rain until Monday Feb 14th, the day I flew home, and it was moderate enough that I didn't even wear my heavy jacket.  We spent time with her Brazilian friends whom I adore, I met Cameron's girlfriend (they're adorable together), we drove up to Leavenworth for the day (no, not the prison, it's a 3 hour drive up into the mountains and is a replication of a German or Swiss town - we had dark beer and sausage), we went to the taping of a morning talk show with Brenda's friend Karmen and received free couple's snuggies (see photos).  It was really great.  But the best part in a sense is that I saw Elson and it was almost like old times.  I'd called him and told him I was coming and he was very excited and wanted to make sure he saw me.  On Sunday Brenda dropped me off at Charlton's and then we went to pick up Elson and went to Chinatown for Dim Sum with the boys and Cameron's girlfriend Lauren.  We had a great time, laughing and kidding around just like we used to.  Afterwards I went to Elson's apartment with him and I showed him how to use iTunes and his computer.  I stayed there a couple of hours and then he brought me back to Brenda's.  This is what I wanted for us - to remain on a friendly level so we can all still get together as a family.  In a way, I'm glad Wayne and Arlene have cut me off, because I'm sure they would have been furious about this and given me a hard time.  Arlene hadn't even wanted me to take his phone calls when he was in prison.  That would have been too cruel.  Elson and Charlton even called and sang Happy Birthday to me on my birthday.

I have started taking classes of the Alexander Technique, once every two weeks.  I really feel it is helping me.  I don't know yet whether Medicare will cover it - I have to file a claim.  The MS seems to be getting worse.  I started to straighten up my apartment today since Carla and Judith were coming for dinner and it totally exhausted me and I had to crash on my couch.  And my apartment isn't that big - I hadn't even made the bed.  But I am wearing the brace more often and that definitely helps.  I brought it to Seattle with me and it made all the difference.  Speaking of Seattle and flights, I hadn't flown anywhere for 4 years and I was really hesitant, knowing I wouldn't be able to walk all the way to the gates, do all that standing, etc.  So I reserved wheelchairs at the airports and it was terrific!  I felt like royalty - they whizzed me through security, I got to pre-board, they waited for and retrieved my luggage for me and then accompanied me to the curb, etc.  So no more fear of flying!  I am good to go.

And speaking of my couch, the most exciting news is that I got a Macbook.  I got it used on Craigs List and boy am I loving it.  I don't have to go to my office anymore to do emails.  In fact I'm on the couch right now writing my blog.  I even at times write and read emails in bed.  And in the bathroom (sorry - too much information?).  At the dining room table.  And when Spring comes, on the deck.  Oh life is grand, it's very wonderful....sorry, I digressed into Once Upon A Mattress.  But speaking of the macbook, this leads me to the next piece of news.

I am very serious about starting my own computer consulting business for senior citizens.  There is an entire generation of baby boomers and older who have been given iPods and iPads or have macbooks or netbooks and who don't know how to use them.  I'm always helping friends learn how to use iTunes and digital photos and so why not get paid for it.  A friend who is a graphic artist is going to help me design a business card which I will put up at Senior Centers, Assisted Living places, etc.  I'm starting to phase myself out of my job in Milpitas or at least cut back my hours.  The drive is beginning to get to me and I'm exhausted when I get home.  I'm also thinking I can do freelance bookkeeping locally.  No one knows what the future holds for me regarding my mobility so I need to do this now rather than later.  I don't want to suddenly not be able to do the drive anymore while I'm still working 3 days a week and they're dependent on me.

While I was in Seattle a new photo was taken of me with an apple martini, so I've replaced the one on this site.  Speaking of apple martinis (how's that for a segue?), JoAnne Rockower called me last night.  She now lives in Puerto Vallarta and she was having dinner last night with some friends who also have condos in her building and she suddenly recognized one of the couples - Marv and Chie Rubinstein, good friends of mine from New York!  What a small world.  Marv will be celebrating his 90th birthday next year in PV, so I will stay with JoAnne when I fly down for it.  Maybe Brenda will come with me!  JoAnne's been inviting us to come stay for some time now.  I missed Marv's 85th at the Awahnee in Yosemite, but I was there for his 80th in Paris.  He gives the best parties.

Well, I think that's enough good news for now.  It's a banner year for me as my old friend Bruce Pacht pointed out - lots of double digits - 66 33 11.  Double digits for double the fun.  I'll drink to that!

A Wonderful Life, continued

Life just keeps getting better and better.  You'd think I'd run out of news, but I don't.  Every day seems to bring new adventures, fun times, challenges, surprises, delights, unexpected turns in the road.  Where do I start?

I'll start with the Alexander Technique.  Dana, the teacher I found, gave a presentation at our monthly MS lecture at Stanford this past Wednesday.  She hadn't seen me since my initial half hour appointment in October and she was thrilled at the difference - in my posture, bearing and walking ability.  I still have not used the cane since mid November.  That doesn't mean there aren't some days when my right leg drags or my two legs are stiff and heavy.  But I still manage without the cane.  I had become dependent on it, and I didn't like that.  I do still bring it with me, just in case, but it's been folded up in its pouch for over two months now.  My MS doctor is going to write me a prescription for the series of 24 classes of the technique and hopefully Medicare will cover it.  There has already been such a difference without my having even taken one full class!  Dana said she thinks I picked it up so easily because I am so open to it.

I've had another day at a museum - this time the Post Impressionist exhibit at the de Young Museum in San Francisco.  Carla and I drove into San Francisco to Andy Jacoby's house (one of my roommates from Cornell and a partner in crime from my first trip ever to Europe, summer of '65 - we first saw the Impressionists together at the Jeu de Paume museum in Paris that summer) for a delicious lunch lovingly prepared by her master chef husband Robert, and then the 4 of us went to the museum.  There were 4 cardboard cutouts leading up the museum where you could stick your head through it for a Kodak instant photo op - I chose the one by Renoir, as you can see at the left.  I wore my brace and I did have the cane with me for this occasion - I'm optimistic and positive, but not stupid.  I wouldn't have made it through the exhibit without it.  It was wonderful.  Afterwards Carla and I went over to Michael and Francine's house for wine and cheese and a tour of their beautiful house for Carla.  What was intended to be a brief visit turned into over 3 hours!  It was a great end to a wonderful day.

I'm on a roll with contacting old friends on Facebook.  Some of you will recognize the name Andy Vlady.  We met when I was 14 and he was 16 in Great Neck and he's been in and out of my life ever since.  It's because of him that I ended up going to Europe in the first place (he spent his junior year of college in Florence and came back with wondrous tales that filled my head and my heart), and also because of him that I went to Brazil (he introduced me to the Brazilian movie Black Orpheus back when we were in high school and I've been hooked on all things Brazilian ever since).  He also introduced me to jazz (in addition to being an artist, he was also a jazz drummer).  So he's played an important part in my life.  He was passing through San Francisco for Russian Christmas with his Russian cousins on his way to Greece where he was going to show his latest collection of lithographs and we got together for lunch on January 6th.  We hadn't seen each other since 1988, but we just picked up where we'd left off and talked nonstop for 5 hours until he had to return to his hotel to get ready for that evening's festivities.  It was wonderful.  As always, he regaled me with fascinating and wondrous tales.

I also found one of my closest friends from junior and senior high school, Judy Evans, although not on Facebook.  Since Lyn Lederman had first discovered me and put me in touch with all these other classmates from Great Neck, I'd been wanting to find Judy.  But she wasn't on Facebook.  I tried all the search engines I could think of, but to no avail, since I didn't know her married name.  However, miracle of miracles, I found a letter I'd received from her in 1989 with her married name, and then easily found her in Texas.  We've been emailing each other regularly ever since and hope to actually see each other one of these days.  I used to go over to her house after school and have fond memories of her parents and brother, and she knew my family, too.  Other than my relatives, there aren't very many people in my life who knew my parents, so this is especially important to me.  When I happened to mention my father's second wife, she hooted "Oh THAT woman!"  I loved it.

And finally, one night when I couldn't sleep, I did a search for Paul Jaqua and easily found him on Facebook.  We'd originally met in 1972 when I was living in Munich and he was part of a group of Californians tooling around Europe.  We stayed in touch here in California when we both settled here, but I'd lost touch with him and hadn't spoken to him since the late 1990s.  I emailed him and we spoke on the phone for 2 hours the next day.  The amazing part is that he lives very close to my sister and Stan, so we will definitely be getting together soon.

There was another potluck lunch with my chronic illness support group up in the Redwoods.  What a special group of people.  Brian again played the bagpipes, Rob played the violin, and Marlene read one of her poems.  I felt like I was part of a salon in Paris.  I liked Marlene's poem so much that I asked her to email it to me.  She sent me the link to a YouTube slide show with music that she'd created for this and 9 other of her poems.  She has Parkinson's and her passion is skiing - which she still manages to do - and her poem is entitled Unbound Rapture.  She gave me permission to post the link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DYTf8asHhU  I highly recommend that you take a look.  It's filled with hope and beauty.

Liza gave me a birdfeeder for Christmas along with a huge sack of birdfeed.  I've never had one before.  She came over and hung it on my deck so I could see it from my bed.  At first there was no activity, but then suddenly one day there were 4 birds at once, each one at a different opening, plus several squirrels on the deck scooping up the seed that fell.  It's now two weeks later and I've already had to refill the feeder.  I love lying in bed watching them fly to and fro, chirping happily as they munch away.

I had a dream about Wayne and Arlene last night, but it was a good dream.  I dreamt that I ran into them somewhere and they were as friendly and warm as they used to be.  I don't remember the details, but I remember the good feeling I had when I woke up.  I've thought about it since then, and I think the meaning of the dream is that I'm finally ready to let go of the anger and the hurt that I've felt concerning them and to move on.  Whenever I've been at the movies downtown or at Trader Joe's or anywhere public around here where I might run into them, I've worried what I might do or say, and whether they would just ignore me and move away.  I'm not worried about it anymore.  I only wish them the best and I choose just to concentrate on the good memories I have of them and all the wonderful things they did for me during that terrible time.

And finally, I have rejoined the world of Macdom!  I am so excited.  I found a used Macbook on Craigslist that is practically brand new.  Now that I'm no longer a mortgage broker and thus no longer in need of real estate software, I can go back to my first love - the Mac.  My Dell PC is over 7 years old and on its last legs, so it was time to start looking for a new computer and thus the perfect time to make the switch.  I already have an iPod and an iPhone so I may as well make the family complete.  I need to become proficient on the Mac anyway, since I've decided one of my new professions will be as a professional consultant helping people with their computers, specifically iTunes and music.  I'm very good at it, most probably because it involves one of my passions - music - so why not make money at it.  I spent 3 hours today helping my friend Judith and she agreed that I should pursue this.  I'm going to get some business cards made up and she will help me pass them out.  She's a professional and has many contacts.  There's a whole community of people around my age who are just beginning to use iPads, iPhones, iPods and iTunes and they have never used a computer before except for emails.  I still plan to also do freelance bookkeeping.  I am in the process of brushing up my resume and will start looking in earnest once I return from New York.

Speaking of New York, this trip is fast approaching!  I leave on February 10th and return on the 25th.  I have been shopping for thermal underwear, plastic boots, hand and foot warmers in preparation for the cold and snow.  Vickie at work even gave me a muff and is going to lend me her ultra warm coat (I didn't keep very much of my winter clothing, never dreaming I would ever go to New York in the winter).  Little did I know.

Well, I think that's enough news for now.  I will post again once I return from New York.  This is my first big trip since my trip to Florida and Texas in April 2008.  I'm very excited, in case you couldn't tell.  Land of bagels and lox, here I come!

Another year ends, and a new one begins

And what a year this has been.  So many wonderful things have happened - I joined Medicare and finally have good medical care, I've made new friends, I've resolved the problems of the stressful commute, I'm ready to travel again, I'm back in touch with long lost high school friends, my health has stabilized.  Every day I count my blessings.  Those years previous to my moving and having discovered Carla and the carriage house are but a distant memory.  It's kind of like the breast cancer - most times I forget about it.  When I go to have a mammogram and they ask me which side, I have to think about it and then check my bra!

I think the most exciting thing to have happened involves the MS.  I wrote in a previous post about the Alexander Technique.  Directly because of that, I have not used my cane since middle November.  I realize now that I had become dependent on it and was using it even if I didn't have to.  Of course, part of the reason for that was because it's so beautiful!  Now, truth be told, there are some days when my legs are weak and I have trouble picking up my right foot.  But I still manage without the cane.  I've seen photos of myself with the cane and it's hard for me to recognize myself.  That is not the image I want to have of myself.  That's not to say that if there comes a day when I actually do need it, that I won't start using it again.  I will.  But not until then.  I do still carry it with me, folded up in its little pouch, just in case, but so far I haven't had to take it out.  Last week I took the train to the city again and this time Francine and I went to the Museum of Modern Art.  I hadn't been there for many years.  It was wonderful.  We just saw one exhibit - the history of wine - but I managed the whole time without the cane.  I did wear the brace, just in case again, but I think the next time I won't even wear that.  Afterwards we went back to Francine's so I could see Michael, who looks great, and then Francine and I went to Linda's for dinner - another women's night out.  What a treat.  I really look forward to these events.

So - what exactly is the Alexander Technique?  Here is a definition I found on the internet: "The Alexander Technique is a method that works to change (movement) habits in our everyday activities. It is a simple and practical method for improving ease and freedom of movement, balance, support and coordination. The technique teaches the use of the appropriate amount of effort for a particular activity, giving you more energy for all your activities. It is not a series of treatments or exercises, but rather a reeducation of the mind and body. The Alexander Technique is a method which helps a person discover a new balance in the body by releasing unnecessary tension. It can be applied to sitting, lying down, standing, walking, lifting, and other daily activities..."  I'm still a novice.  I've only had that one half hour free introduction with a certified teacher, plus a friend gave me a CD with instructions for doing what is called a Constructive Rest.  This consists of lying on the floor with your legs up and arms outstretched and slowly relaxing all the muscles in your body, refocusing the energy flow, for about 10 minutes.  I try to do this twice a day.  It was easy for me because it is very similar to a meditation technique I learned years ago.

I want to take a series of classes from this teacher and so I am trying to get it covered by Medicare.  In order to achieve this, I introduced this particular teacher to my MS doctor who puts on those monthly lectures I've written about (ie the naturopathic doctor, the yoga teacher, etc.).  I've told her (Jong-mi) the benefits I've had just from the little that I've learned.  Well, the exciting news is that Jong-mi has arranged for this teacher to do the presentation at the next lecture, on January 19th.  I will be giving testimonials.  Jong-mi has said she would write me a prescription and I'm hoping to get the classes covered under the mantle of physical therapy.  I will let you all know what happens.

The next exciting event will take place in February - I'm going to New York!  I've decided to go for two weeks instead of just one.  Brenda was the one who convinced me to do that.  She pointed out that I have MS and will be tired from the flights and from all the excitement of seeing everyone and that I have to build in some rest periods.  I have lots of people I want to see, so that makes sense.  I've already alerted Cynthia, Karin and Joan that I'm coming and also my cousin Susan who lives in upstate New York.  I can't wait.

I have also promised my grandsons in the Seattle area that I will be coming to visit them before next Christmas.  I haven't seen them for a long time and they're growing up so fast - Cameron will be graduating high school next year and going off to college!  I called them yesterday and not only spoke to them, I also spoke to Elson at length.  We had a nice friendly conversation, and therefore I feel confident that it won't be a problem when I'm up there.  My next trip after that will be to L.A. and then hopefully France in the Fall with Carla.  I'm on a roll!

You are probably wondering how I can take all this time off from work.  Well, that is a very good question, and there are developments there as well.  I love my job, I love the people and the work, I love working for Vickie.  However, what I do not love is the commute and the inability to take off and travel whenever I want to.  At this point it would be impossible for me to take more than two weeks off, and Carla and I want to stay at least three weeks in France.  Also, the stickers on the Prius will finally expire in June, after which time I will no longer be able to use the commuter lane (shudder).  I've already told Vickie that I do not want to do that commute once that happens.  The good news is that Vickie has rehired a former employee to work part-time and take over the responsibilities that I currently have that are beyond bookkeeping.  I was originally hired just to do bookkeeping and I ended up replacing three full-time people, handling human resources, administrative, personal assistant, etc.  Then, once I am ready to leave, she can outsource the bookkeeping to a professional bookkeeping company.

However, all this means that my hours will be reduced and I will not be earning enough to cover my monthly expenses.  So I have to get off my duff and start looking for work around here.  I plan to look for bookkeeping, computer tutorial, iTunes assistance, etc.  I need to put together a new resume and start networking.  That is my new year's resolution.

I've had a wonderful holiday season.  Two weekends ago I spent the weekend with Trish and Stan.  On Saturday we celebrated Hannukah with Stan's family at his cousin's who lives in Half Moon Bay.  On Sunday we went to a performance of the Christmas Revels at the Scottish Rite Temple in Oakland (Stan's brother-in-law is always one of the performers) followed by a Chinese banquet.  Then last weekend Trish came and stayed with me and we went to a performance of the Meshugah Nutcracker.  I want to make this an annual event.  It travels every year to Seattle, Phoenix and Los Angeles before coming back to its birthplace, San Jose.  Here's a description of it: This celebrated musical mixes the familiar score of Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite with witty lyrics and traditional Jewish songs all celebrating Judah Maccabee and the holiday for which he is known.  Eight top-notch performers sing while dancing in life-sized dreidel costumes, all while telling eight stories celebrating Chanukah.  As reviewed by the L.A. Times, "this lovingly loopy musical is a treat for the whole family."  This musical was created so that Jews could have something festive to do on Christmas besides the usual movie and Chinese food!

Christmas Eve Carla and I went to a friend's house for dinner and to watch the final two episodes of Dexter.  The three of us have been watching the current season together, alternating at whose house, with it always including dinner.  We've enjoyed this so much that we've decided to continue the tradition and will start with Showtime's new series Shameless which starts in January.

Christmas day I was invited to Liza's house for dinner.  Carla went to her daughter's in Petaluma and so wasn't there.  It was lovely.  There was just family there - Liza and Frank, their daughter Gaby and their son Anthony along with his girlfriend Tony, Liza's mother Alice and her sister Maura, and me.  I felt right at home there, because they have made me feel a part of their family.  I think it was one of the best Christmases I've ever spent.

Carla got back from Petaluma this evening and invited me for some wine and some goodies from a Harry and David box she'd gotten from her grandson.  We exchanged stories from the last two days and showed each other our gifts.  I'd missed her and was glad to have her home.  Because the carriage house is my home.  Whenever one of us returns to it (ie when I get back from work, or this evening when she got back from Petaluma), we cry out "honey, I'm home!"

What a long way I have come in just 3 years.  Three years ago on January 16th I dropped Elson off at the prison and returned to a house filled to the rafters with STUFF and to sleepless nights filled with fear - how would I manage financially, if I were to move how would I find a place that wouldn't be even more depressing, how would I get rid of all this STUFF.  As the weight dropped off until I was a gaunt 97 lbs due to the stress and fears, I literally could not envisage a future for myself, much less a happy and fulfilling one.

And yet.  And yet.  I live in this wonderful, enchanting carriage house, with a wonderful landlady who has become my dearest friend, I have made new friends like Liza who seems like she's been in my life forever and who has welcomed me into her family, I've become good friends with Liza's sister Maura, I am constantly finding new treatments and tools for dealing with the MS, I am starting to travel again, I feel younger and lighter than I have in a very long time.  I am looking forward to the new year and to new discoveries, new friends, new adventures.

I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again.  I couldn't have done it without the love and support of all my wonderful friends.  I didn't do it alone.  And even though I live alone, I don't FEEL like I'm alone.  I feel loved and surrounded.  I think that is what I am most grateful for.

I wish you all a Happy and Joyful New Year.  I raise my apple martini glass to you and look towards the future with joy and anticipation.

You Can Take The New Yorker Out of New York, but......

Well, I'm discovering this old saying has a lot of truth in it.  I'm really having fun spending time with all these fellow New Yorkers - some from my youth and High School, some new friends I've made out here.  It's kind of like I've come home.  I've been running away from my past and my childhood and my roots all my life, and now I've come full circle and am finally embracing all of it.  It's allowed me to become a full person for the first time ever, merging my beginnings with my journeys and various paths I've taken, and blossoming into the this amalgam that I now am.  I've never felt so "good in my skin" as the French say.  It's as though it was always meant to come to this, to the carriage house in Redwood City, where I am finally able to be me, whoever that is.

I know I haven't posted for quite a while, but it's for a good reason - I've been busy!  Busy working and busy playing.  The MS drug Ampyra has given me my life back.  I still get tired, but not like before.  As long as I remember to pace myself, give myself a free day or evening every now and then, I do fine.  I think the most exciting thing that has happened in the last two months is that I spent a wonderful day in San Francisco with Francine.  She picked me up at the train station and we went straight to the new Academy of Sciences museum in Golden Gate Park.  The Aquarium and Planetarium has only been open 5 years and I never thought I would ever get to see it.  Well, not only did I see it, I saw the whole thing (the Aquarium anyway), on my legs, vertical, with only the use of my cane and my new brace.  I was ecstatic.  We spent 2 1/2 hours in the museum, then went to Francine's house for a lovely dinner on their back deck, joined by Linda Hom, and then I took the train home and was still filled with energy.  Now that is a miracle.  The next test will be the Impressionist exhibit at the De Young Museum.  Carla, Liza, Maura and I are planning to go and I'm hoping it will be a repeat performance.   The prior two times I went to that museum (once with this same group and once with my college roommate Andrea), I had to be pushed around in a wheelchair.  They didn't mind, but I did.

Speaking of college roommates, there is an exciting reunion looming on the horizon.  There were three of us at Cornell - we were roommates our sophomore year, shared an apartment senior year, studied at the Sorbonne in Paris the summer after our sophomore year and then traveled for 6 weeks on a Eurail Pass, then the three of us went to the French Riviera after graduation, after which Joanne and I moved together into an apartment in Paris and Andrea returned to the U.S.  Andrea now lives in San Francisco, but Joanne lives in Wisconsin.  We've had reunions before when Joanne would come to San Francisco, but this time it's a REAL reunion in that all three of us are spending the night at Andrea's.  This will be the first time we've ever all three of us spent the night together since France.  What a treat.  This will be on November 16th.

Life just keeps getting better and better.  I'm feeling so good inside that I've decided to work on my outside.  I wrote earlier about my having gone back to getting my nails done on a regular basis.  Well, now I've also gone back to getting my hair cut professionally.  And I'm now having my apartment cleaned professionally - well, actually better than professionally.  Maura, Liza's sister who moved out here from Arkansas to live with Liza and help care for their mother, and I have become good friends and when she heard I was going to hire professional cleaners, she volunteered to do it.  For pay, of course.  But am I getting a good deal!  Not only is my apartment sparkling, she keeps adding little touches, ie bringing over cute baskets to put things in, rearranging things so they look neater, etc.  I love it.  I was pretty religious about keeping everything clean when I first moved in, but have not been able to keep it up because of the fatigue.  So I finally bit the bullet and decided to rearrange some of my expenses to allow for all of this.  And boy is it worth it.  So now my outside and my surroundings are starting to feel and look as good as my inside.

I'm also finally ready to start traveling again.  People have been urging me to come visit ever since I moved - Brenda in Seattle, Evelyn and Art in L.A., the gang in N.Y., Kate in Texas.  I just wasn't up to it, plus I didn't know how I would do with the MS which had gotten worse, and the rules and regulations of travel nowadays which have also gotten worse.  I had promised Carla we would go to France together this past Spring and I backed out of that as well.  But now I am mentally ready.  I've always loved to travel and couldn't understand why I kept avoiding it.  I now promise everyone I will eventually get there in the next two years.  My first planned trip is this March to New York.  I can't even remember the last time I saw the gang - Karin, Cynthia, Joan and Marv.  Then I've promised Carla we will go to France later in the Spring, probably late May.  We're going to start looking at our ticket options.  I also need to contact my cousin Martine and my good friend Rick to make sure they will be there, as we will be staying with them.  And finally, I will talk to Brenda as to when a good time would be for me to come up and see her and my two adorable grandsons.  This will be all in the next year.  Wow.  Time is a wastin' and I don't want to put it off any longer.  No one knows what the future holds.

I had a bone density test done last week and just received the following results from my doctor: Hello Laurel! Your bone density is surprisingly good at all sites! You have mild to moderate osteopenia at the hip with really minimal osteopenia at the spine. I am pleasantly surprised! However, because of your fall risk, I am inclined to recommend treatment with either an oral bisphosphonate given weekly or monthly (like Fosamax or Actonel) or the one given intravenously (every other year for osteopenia). I would understand if you are hesitant to take one of these medications and I am happy to discuss this further with you by phone or in person. At the very least, it is important for you to get adequate calcium and D as we discussed and to minimize your risk of falling. Please contact me with questions. It was a pleasure to have met with you!  I also saw my regular doctor and my blood pressure is 108/72, BMI is 19.20, and pulse is 68 beats per minute (whatever that means).  In other words, other than the MS, I am in perfect health.  Not bad for a senior citizen.

Speaking of being a senior citizen, I am thrilled with all the new doctors I now have since leaving the HMO and joining Medicare.  The above doctor is an endocrinologist; I have a wonderful internal medicine doctor thanks to Kimberly; a great MS doctor thanks to my cousin Dana (his staff puts on monthly evening lectures for his patients and so far we've had a naturopathic doctor, a yoga for MS instructor from New Yawk, Art as Therapy and then this week Sex and Relationships with a Disability); and a wonderful dermatologist who not only has helped clear up my skin and scalp problems but also gives me tons of free samples so I don't have to buy anything.

I'm going to end this posting with a quote from the latest Reflective Reading from the support group I mentioned in an earlier email, on Rippling and Gratitude.  I think you'll like it,

Reflective material. On September 27 of this year I included an excerpt from Irvin Yalom's Staring At the Sun that featured his definition of "rippling." To make the best sense of this week's reflective material from the same author, it is important to have his notion of rippling clearly in mind, so I'm going to repeat it here: "Rippling refers to the fat that each of us creates—often without our conscious intent or knowledge—concentric circles of influence that may affect others for years, even for generations. That is, the effect we have on other people is in turn passed on to others, much as the ripples in a pond go on and on until they're no longer visible but continuing at a nano level." (page 83)

What follows are Yalom's comments on gratitude, especially as they relate to some of the "ripples" that have benefitted us:  "Far too often, gratitude for how a person has sent influential ripples out into the world is expressed not when the person is still alive but only in a posthumous eulogy. How many times at funerals have you wished (or overheard others express the wish) that the dead person were there to hear the eulogies and expressions of gratitude? How many of us have wished we could be like Scrooge and eavesdrop on our own funeral? I have.

"One technique for overcoming this 'too little, too late' problem with rippling is the 'gratitude visit,' a splendid way to enhance rippling when one is alive. I first came upon this exercise at a workshop conducted by Martin Seligman, one of the leaders of the positive psychology movement. He asked a large audience to participate in an exercise that, as I recall, went along these lines:  "Think of someone still living toward whom you feel great gratitude that you have never expressed. Spend ten minutes writing that person a gratitude letter and then pair up with someone here, and each of you read your letter to the other. The final step is that you pay a personal visit to that person sometime in the near future and read that letter aloud.

"After the letters were read in pairs, several volunteers . . . read their letters aloud to the entire audience. Without exception, each person choked up with emotion during the reading. . . .
"I did the exercise myself and wrote such a letter to David Hamburg, who had been a superbly enabling chairman of the Department of Psychiatry during my first ten years at Stanford. When I next visited New York, where he lived at this time, we spent a moving evening together. I felt good expressing my gratitude, and he felt good about knowing of it; he said he had beamed with pleasure when reading my letter.

"As I age, I think more and more about rippling. As [the head of a family], I always pick up the check when my family dines at a restaurant. My four children always thank me graciously (after offering only feeble resistance), and I always say to them, 'Thank your grandfather Ben Yalom. I'm only a vessel passing on his generosity. He always picked up the check for me.' (And I, by the way, also offered only feeble resistance.) (pages 135-136)
 
I have included this excerpt as my way of thanking all of you have been such a wonderful support to me the last few years.  I know I will pass it on in the tradition of Rippling.

Irony In Motion

I love irony, and I was a living manifestation of it this morning while driving to work.  As I've mentioned here before, I am studying the music for the High Holy Days at the Temple here in Redwood City and as a result of that, I will be at all the services (all except one which is on the same evening as a lecture on new emerging therapies for MS which I plan to attend).  Well, as I was driving to work, I was listening to the music of one of my most recent musical discoveries - Straight No Chaser (10 acapella men who have been singing together since 1996 when they met at college - Liza told me about them), and some of the tunes happen to be Christmas carols.  Now I love Christmas carols - I know all the lyrics and harmonies because we used to celebrate Christmas and that was one of my favorite parts - and as I was singing along at the top of my voice, cruising along the freeway, I was struck by the irony of it all.  I don't know if irony is the correct expression, but in any case, what a wonderful metaphor for who I am - Christmas music today, Jewish music tomorrow, who knows what on Wednesday?  Irony, dicohotomy, who cares, I love it.

Now you might wonder why we celebrated Christmas, since most of you know I am Jewish with the family name of Droshnicop.  It's because we had a wonderful mother who was very universal in her religious beliefs.  What mattered to her was the joy and the love.  That meant we celebrated all the holidays that involved celebrating and eating - Christmas, Easter, Passover.  We had a Christmas tree which we decorated on Christmas Eve while listening to/watching Amahl And The Night Visitors on tv (don't you dare, don't you dare, don't you dare touch my mother, tra la la), we had a Santa Claus face on our front door which lit up, we had colored lights on the trees on either side of the front door, and we had our own traditions for exchanging presents - three for each of us.  We'd go shopping in the evenings with her while most families were home having dinner.  We'd go into the dining room two at a time to wrap the presents for the other members of our family.  We'd play the piano and sing Christmas carols.  All of us except our father, who disapproved of and disliked all of it.  His only concession was to come in and sing Good King Wenceslas, offkey.  Why that particular carol I have no idea.  Easter was fun, too.  We'd color Easter eggs and she'd hide them, and there would be baskets filled with fake grass, jelly beans, and little goodies into which we would then place the eggs we found hidden the next morning.  Passover was the traditional meal with the symbols and the Haggadahs and the singing and the drinking of wine (grape juice for us).  The main thing is that everything was fun.

So my trip down the freeway this morning led to a trip down Memory Lane.

A wonderful honor has been bestowed upon me.  A friend from the Support Group, who has a beautiful blog called Musing by Moonlight (I recommend it to everyone - her name is Jamie Dedes and she is a writer and a poet and ray of light - the link is http://musingbymoonlight.com/), has give me two  Blog awards - one is The Elegant Blog Award and, the one I'm most excited about, The Singing In The Rain Award.  When I asked her what that meant, she responded: as in doing fun stuff and smiling even though the clouds are out and the rain sometimes pours down (as in our health challenges et al.)  Isn't that great?  I accept that one proudly!

Speaking of Jamie, she described our Support Group on her blog so perfectly that I would like to include it here.   I asked her permission which she granted on the condition that I add the following: copyright Jamie Dedes 2010 all rights reserved.  As I said, she is a writer and needs to protect her words, which I understand and respect.  Here is what she wrote:

My other much beloved quality-of-life saver is my Group. Of course, it’s not mine. It’s ours. This is a Group that is sponsored by a Buddhist center near home. Its members all have life-threatening illnesses, yet lead productive and joy-filled lives while buying time. We are led by the dearest, kindest human being, a Buddhist chaplain, whose kindness is so deep and consistent I tear to think about it and him. The Group is composed of people from all different religious traditions. Buddhism doesn’t seek to proselytize and does respect all religions, so this is possible. The diversity just serves to enrich the experience. Each of us knows inherently that our illness can be a spiritual path if we choose to use it that way … and we do. That’s one of the things I love about us.  I wanted a group that was spiritually based, not medically based. I believe this whole trip called “life” is a spiritual exercise not a material one. So this Group is consistent with my personal philosophy and value. The Group has turned out to be one of the great joys of my life. Each person within it is heroic, generous, compassionate, and very, very dear.

I couldn't have said it any better.  Now you can see how lucky I am.

It's time for Poker Night.  Enough of this philosophizing, I'm going to go have some fun!