A Month Later

I've been here 6 weeks now and I love it as much as ever. I've unpacked everything except the CDs and the apartment looks great. I love waking up to it, to its neatness and warmth and brightness, to how I can see and find everything I have, to the trees and sunlight coming through the windows, to its charm. Everyone who comes here feels it. I wanted a complete change from what I had before, and I got my wish.

I've mainly been resting, showing my place off, reconnecting with people, getting organized, processing what I went through, working on myself to make sure that never happens to me again, having fun with Carla. I kind of went overboard the first month with the drinking and eating, and I'm now shooting for more moderation. I was like a kid in a candy store whose parents aren't looking, eating all the foods that I love but know aren't good for me, drinking martinis, too much wine. My body finally rebelled, screaming Stop! Please don't do this to me! So this past month I've been more reasonable with my diet, not eating any rich foods. I finally received my shipment of matcha tea, so I have a matcha latte in the mornings now instead of coffee. Not that I don't still love my cafe latte and I'll sneak it in every now and then, but not on a daily basis like before. I've gone back to drinking more tea in general. I've cut out all alcohol for 3 weeks on doctor's orders (my liver test was too high - over 60 instead of under 36 the month before) and will have the liver tested again this week. Hopefully the spike will have just been due to the sudden increase in alcohol consumption, and I can go back to having the occasional glass of wine or martini. I've gained 5 pounds as the doctor had ordered (of course, in all the wrong places!), so I think I'm pretty healthy now.

I'm now about ready to get back to work. But I still don't know what the work will be. I'm putting together a list of different opportunities that might exist, and I'm requesting that all my friends email me any ideas they might have. I have several different talents and areas that I enjoy - I would like to find something that combines my administrative talents with my love for the arts and my people skills. I'm open to anything - I just require that I be able to work out of the home.

Life is good. I almost have to pinch myself to see if it's all real. I've gone from the darkest place imaginable to all this light almost overnight. I don't take it for granted. I breathe it in and let it fill me with joy every single day.

It's over....and it's begun!

One door closes and another opens. It's been quite a whirlwind. The estate sale went by in a blur. We probably should have had it over two consecutive weekends because of the huge quantity of items for sale, but we sold quite a lot and John Favors accomplished what he promised - when they departed, the house was totally empty and clean. I didn't have to do a thing to it. I also used his company to move my furniture, which they did the following day, on Monday August 11th. I started sleeping in the carriage house that night and ever since. On Wednesday we hired a uhaul truck and two teenage boys to move the boxes, bookcases, smaller items, etc., and Brian came up and helped. I'm still moving small items, for example lamps, but will be finished by next week. I love it. I've felt at home here ever since I first saw it. It just suits me. It is filled with light and there are trees visible from every window. It is very quiet, and the garden is very healing. I ate breakfast out on my balcony the first morning. I'm still not totally unpacked, but I've already begun having people over, and Trish spent the night on Tuesday - my first overnight guest. We had a great time staying up late talking, and went to see the movie Mamma Mia the next day. We plan to have outings like this twice a month on a regular basis.

This past Monday my body finally felt the effects of the last few months and I've been experiencing the fatigue that I had several months ago, plus my legs are heavy. I'm listening to my body and taking it easy for awhile. I have a follow-up appointment with my doctor this Tuesday. I don't know if I've gained all the weight she wanted me to, but at least I've gained some. She's going to order the blood tests again to see if there's still a problem with the kidney. I know I wasn't eating well when I took the test last month. It was difficult to have a healthy diet when I only had about two inches of space to work in and I was surrounded by ants. I'm eating well now though.

I haven't taken a lot of photos of the apartment because I want to wait until I'm totally unpacked and all the boxes are gone, but I did post one photo of the butcherblock - you can see a little of the bedroom and the kitchen, too. I'll post a slide show when it's ready.

Suffice it to say.....I've moved on and my new life has begun. I'm happy and excited and looking forward to what the future may bring.

Only Two More Days!

Only two more days until the estate sale. I can't believe we're here already. The team has been wonderful - I couldn't have chosen a better company. We've already sold all the antiques, a lot of the clothes, all the fine crystal, the peacock, the entry table and mirror, most of the ivory. They have certain customers who get private invitations to come before the public comes and they pay top dollar. We've had people in here every day all this week, all day. I'm exhausted, but I'm also exhiliarated. I'm beginning to get very excited and I can't wait to move into the carriage house. Francine is going with me tomorrow to do some measuring so I can make final decisions on what furniture to bring, so that I can sell what I don't bring. I'm not going to be here during the sale - I've made plans for all three days. Wayne, however, is planning to be here to keep an eye on things. When I come home Sunday night, there's not going to be very much furniture. All the dishes and pots and pans I've been using will be in boxes, because we don't want to risk anyone buying them, so it's going to be very difficult to live here. I'm going to try to arrange the move for as soon as possible after the sale. I've interviewed one company already, and I'll probably just go with them. Deja's using them for the two antiques she's buying and they come highly recommended by friends of hers. What a journey this has been. And it's not over, because I'll be starting a whole new life once I move. How many people get to say that at my age?

One Week To Go

Today is the first of August. This month will be full of changes for me. The estate sale will be Friday, Saturday and Sunday, August 8, 9 and 10, from 10-4. Tell all your friends and come yourself. Some friends have already come by and all have made purchases. The liquidators have said that they've never seen an estate sale like this one - we have the equivalent of 3-4 houses. It's unbelievable. I knew we had a lot of stuff, but it really hits home when you see it all displayed. Every night I fall into bed totally exhausted, and then I wake up in the morning and get back to work. Right now I'm working on the office, tossing out old files, finding treasures (all of Larry Negri's recipes!), creating a landfill of paper. I'll be working on this all weekend. I have to get the office, the closet in the guest bathroom and the kitchen totally finished by Sunday night, so that when they come on Monday they can finish pricing everything. I'm getting a little nervous - I don't know how I'll get it all done in time, but I know I will. I'm hoping to move some of my things to the carriage house beforehand. I've put red dots on everything I'm keeping, but I've been warned that people who shop at estate sales don't respect red dots. If they really want it, they remove the dot. So I'll have to hide all my smaller items, either in the shed or a closet or by taking it to Carla's. I'm also going to make a list of the furniture I'm keeping for the staff to have, just in case. The company I'm using has been really great. They're trying to sell the high end, unique items before the estate sale, thus getting higher prices. They had their CD/book buyer come in a few days ago and he paid $2,000 for what he took, which is really very good for used CDs and books. They took the entire jade and ivory collection into San Francisco to a gallery and have already sold most of the ivory and some of the jade. I also gave John some of my good jewelry to sell in the city. Bonnie, who is arranging and pricing the clothing, took a whole bunch of it home with her to try to sell in private appointments, and she's going to have buyers come to the house to see the fur coats. They're doing their best to make sure I get the most money possible out of this, and they've also been very understanding and sensitive.

The other change in August is, of course, my move. I can't wait. When I go to sleep at night, I imagine I'm in my new bedroom in the carriage house. I've changed my email address to laureldruce@gmail.com. This way I never have to change it again, even if I end up moving somewhere else.

The Terminators

The Terminators, or rather the liquidators, arrived yesterday, en masse. There was an army of them and they swooped in and sucked the trash out. I never saw people move so fast. It was a little overwhelming and at times frightening, as I saw parts of my life being carried out the door, to destinations unknown. They divided everything into three categories - high value and therefore to be displayed inside the house, garage sale value and therefore to be gathered and eventually taken to the flea market, and no value and therefore off to the dumps. Unfortunately I had my doctor's appointment in the middle of the day, and I came home to find, much to my dismay, that some very important personal items were in the truck on their way to the dump. Luckily the truck never made it to the dump because of traffic, and I've been told the drivers found these items this morning when they searched the bags in the truck and they will be delivered to me tomorow. The Liquidator boss was explaining to me that my situation was a little unusual for them, in that usually the people aren't there when they're clearing out the house. I asked is that because they've already moved, and he kind of hemmed and hawed and didn't really answer, and then I suddenly realized it was because they were usually dead! So I apologized to him for the fact that I was still alive.

Things are progressing very quickly and I'm beginning to believe that we will actually be ready on time. I like the women who are working on pricing and arranging very much. I definitely feel I made a good decision in picking this company.

The doctor has ordered a myriad of tests because I've been losing so much weight. I feel I'll gain some of it back once I'm in my own place, but just in case, I've been told to start supplementing my meals with Ensure.

The house is starting to look nice now, and I'm beginning to remember why we fell in love with it in the first place. It'll be a bittersweet parting.

I'm Moving Into The Carriage House!

I called Carla today and notified her officially that I'm going to be her new tenant. I'm so happy. It just feels right. Carla already feels like an old friend. She's a francophile like I am - her coffee table books are French Dreams and French Tea - and we keep talking about French movies and French singers and French food. I told her how I'd found an old steno pad that I'd used to take notes during a French cooking class I'd taken when I lived in Paris, and all the notes are in French. Even though there are only two closets in the entire apartment (the house is almost 100 years old), there's lots of wall space so I'm going to be able to bring more furniture than I'd originally planned, which will help with the storage. I can't wait until my first morning when I wake up and take my morning coffee out on the balcony overlooking that gorgeous garden. I bet I sleep better that first night than I've slept in months. It's such a relief to know I have a place to go to and to be able to plan what I keep and don't keep. My sister kept telling me to stop worrying and to trust that everything would work out. She was so right.

There are so many things about the carriage house that make it perfect for me for right now, but one thing that everyone has pointed out is that there will be somebody nearby just in case something happens to me, ie I fall or something. Everyone's been so worried about me, going up and down these stairs and moving boxes and getting physically tired with no one around.

So I go to sleep tonight with sweet dreams in my head. The clock is still ticking, but there's a yellow brick road leading to a happy destination.

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Christian the Lion - the full story (in HQ)

This is so uplifting and a wonderful message I want to send to all my terrific friends out there.

Stuff and a great video

I'm buried in stuff. I can't believe how much STUFF I've accumulated. It's suffocating. I can't wait to get to my new, small apartment, wherever it might be, and start all over again and stop accumulating. I will never do this again, I promise.

A good friend sent me the most wonderful, uplifting video today. I'm posting it on this website so everyone can see it. Please do look at it, and know that I am thinking of you, of all my wonderful friends and family who have been so supportive of me.

I'm going to look at the carriage house again tomorrow, along with Wayne and Arlene. I've taken measurements of all the furniture I'd like to keep and Wayne is bringing a tape measure and is going to sketch the floorplan. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm also bringing my camera. I've also been looking at other listings and am going to look at a cottage in Woodside on Sunday. This is my life now - looking for apartments, sorting through STUFF, trying to plan my future and figure out how I'm going to survive financially, trying to stay healthy (everyone complains I'm too thin, but I think it's the stress and I'll gain weight once I get settled), writing my journal daily, taking photos to document the process of getting the house ready for the sale, etc.

The estate sale will be August 8, 9 and 10, so please tell anybody in the area to come by. I won't be here myself, so you don't have to worry about the prices!

The Clock Is Ticking

The estate sale liquidators come a week from today. Then they'll be here 3 weeks setting things up for the estate sale, which will take place August 8, 9 and 10. I'm starting to get a little nervous. When I come back Sunday night, August 10th, a large part of my life from the past 30 years will be gone. I think it's going to be hard living here for the final 3 weeks. I'll be concentrating on looking for an apartment, packing my things and getting them ready for storage, taking care of change of address notifications, looking for a laptop, etc. My life will be very different. The plan right now is, if I haven't found an apartment by end of August, to move in with Deja for a month or two until I find something. Roxy will have gone back to college, so I can have her room. It will be strange not having my own place, but it might be liberating as well. I will take advantage of that time to recover and heal, but also to travel and visit friends and family.

I've had an idea for future employment. Someone suggested to me that I try commercial mortgages. This could be a good fit. I already have the tools, but it's different enough that it would feel like something new, I could work from my home, and I could earn good income, more than from residential mortgages. If anyone knows anyone who is looking for an intern or for someone like me, please let me know. The best part is that I would be able to do my writing on the side.

Most of my time is spent getting the house ready for the estate sale. Wayne is here almost every day now, as we get close to our deadline. Tick, tock, tick, tock.....