She's Done It All

That's what Helen said about me, and fortunately it's true. My new life is much quieter and calmer than my former life. I don't try out all the new restaurants, I don't see all the new plays, I don't get to the ballet anymore, I'm not at all the jazz concerts anymore, I haven't traveled for two years....but I'm not complaining, for I truly have done it all. I subscribe to the San Francisco Chronicle because I still want to know what is going on, what restaurants are closing or opening, read reviews of all the plays, peruse the travel section, read the entertainment section, but I don't follow up on it. Reading about it is enough for me. My physical condition dictates my activities, and that's okay with me.

This blog is going to be a bit of a hodgepodge. I have news and I have reflections. I'll start with explaining who Helen is. She is this amazing force of life whom I've gotten to know through Brenda. Brenda finally came! We've been planning a birthday celebration since before my birthday last month, but due to Brenda's extremely hectic and busy schedule, it didn't take place until last weekend. But it was worth the wait. We started Friday afternoon with an impromptu cocktail party chez moi, with my niece Kimberly who picked Brenda up at the airport and brought her here. Then early Saturday morning Brenda and I set off for Santana Row in San Jose where Brenda had booked us a room in a beautiful hotel for the night (I love that people want to whisk me off to these glamorous hotels!). We spent the afternoon meeting with Helen and some friends, followed by relaxing in our room, then Helen joined us for a delicious dinner at Left Bank for both of our birthdays (Helen's birthday was just a few days before this weekend). There's something about a French bistro restaurant, like Left Bank, that has an immediate physical and emotional effect on me, just like hearing someone speak French does, or listening to music. I'm like a dog who smells a certain scent - my ears perk up, I feel chills up and down my spine, I stand up straighter, my tail wags (well, maybe not that). I had a glass of a wonderful Sancerre that had whispers of Paris in it, oysters, steak tartare, mussels in a wonderful broth, great French bread, and we finished it off with a delicious creme brulee. I would have purred if I could have - but with a French accent, naturellement. Then we went to the movie theatre a block away and saw Ghost Writer, Polanski's new film. Brenda and I ended the day by relaxing in our room, each of us reading, listening to music. A perfect day. On Sunday we'd been planning on going to the Farmer's Market, but it rained and the wind blew, so we ended up meeting Helen for coffee at Barnes & Noble and talking for several hours (after spending the entire day together on Saturday, we still had so much to talk about - I love my women friends), then eating lunch (lots of food was consumed over the 4-day weekend), and then Brenda and I returned to my carriage house where we curled up on the sofa and relaxed some more. I guess there was lots of relaxing in addition to lots of eating! Monday Helen joined us again for a wonderful lunch at an Italian restaurant in Redwood City, some strolling about, some Scrabble at home, and then Helen took Brenda to the airport around 7 PM. I was sad to see them go, partly because I'd had such a good time with them, but also because I think this is finally the end of my birthday celebrations. Oh wait, no, there's more to come, I'm to meet Mary Lou and Bill for Dim Sum sometime soon! Oh goody. More celebrating.

In case you're wondering about the photo I've posted at the beginning of this blog, that's the latest incarnation of my Family Photo corner. These consist of various photos of my parents and of me and Trish, ranging from a photo of our father at around age 2, to photos of Trish and me as toddlers, and to that wonderful photo of my mother looking up from reading the Sunday paper. I feel that during my marriage I had turned my back on my blood family in a certain sense. I'd only started putting framed photos of them about in the house towards the end of the marriage. For most of the marriage I'd concentrated on being a Lui and being a part of the Lui family. No one had asked me to do this. I think it stemmed from my deep seeded desire for family, I'd been starved for one for so long. When the marriage ended, at first I felt so alone, adrift and lost, but connecting with Trish made me remember that I did still have family, that I'd always been part of another, primal family. I am now glorying in that. My apartment is filled with photos from both my families.

There is news on the medical front. I saw the new MS doctor on March 24th. I was on a high for days afterwards. I finally have a specialist who wants to help me. Here is a blurb about him:

Jeffrey Dunn, MD Associate Director, Stanford Multiple Sclerosis Center Associate Professor of Neurology and Neurological Sciences. Dr. Dunn is a board certified neurologist specializing in the diagnosis, treatment and clinical research of multiple sclerosis and demyelinating disease. With a focus on clinical care, he also conducts research on combination therapy and emerging immunotherapy and has worked as a principal investigator for clinical research studies sponsored by the NIH and other organizations. Dr. Dunn served as president and chief medical officer of the "MS Hub," a novel regional care center at Evergreen Healthcare in Kirkland, WA, before joining the MS Center at Stanford in early 2008. He has been recognized as one of the nation's "top docs" for the last eight consecutive years. Dr, Dunn earned his MD from Temple University and did his specialty training in neurology at the University of Washington.

My cousin Dana in Michigan had recommended him and I am so happy that she did. He's already ordered two full MRIs - one on the brain and one on the spine, plus he's ordered the brand new medication that was just approved by the FDA in January that helps all people with MS, no matter which kind, with their walking and with their fatigue. It's in pill form, not a shot. For the first time, I'm willing to try one of the drugs, partly because I'm beginning to lose quality of life and it is now worth it to me to try it, partly because this is the first MS drug to be in pill form and to not have that many side effects. It does still have side effects, of course, and it will be up to me to decide whether the benefits are worth the discomfort. Dr. Dunn gave me the most complete and extensive exam I've ever had, including interviewing me and getting to know me and asking what I want to accomplish by seeing him, what my fears are, my goals, etc.

My experience so far with Medicare has been very positive, except for the drug plan. I'm not so happy with that. I'm learning all about the donut hole and if I continue with this new MS medication, I will definitely fall into that hole. Stanford has a patient assistance plan and I'm getting more information about that. If this is going to cost me in the thousands of dollars, then of course I can't and won't do it. I'll find out more in the next month or two. In the meantime, I have an appointmet with an MS clinic to see about getting a "walking aid". It's callled "The WalkAide System" and it's a battery operated device that helps with "foot drop", which is what I've been experiencing. After walking for just a short period of time, my legs get heavy, especially my right leg, and I have trouble lifting my right foot, usually ending up by dragging it. This device works with a bluetooth. I have no idea if I'll like it or if it will work for me, but if it does, it'll be free. I like that part!

This is probably enough for one post. I've also included a photo of all the birthday cards I received. The best part about having a blog is that everyone knows when it's your birthday and you get all these birthday cards! I've never received so many, and I love each and every one of them. Thank you, everyone, for helping to make this birthday so memorable.

In the beginning of the blog, I said there would be news and reflections. Well, the reflection is that although I've done it all, and most of it I'm not doing anymore, that doesn't mean that I've stopped living or having new experiences or adventures. Every day still brings something new and delightful and I look forward to having lots more adventures, albeit different ones from before. I'm not through with life yet, not by a long shot. I discover new music almost every day, am meeting new people, discovering new books and tv programs, and every day in my carriage house fills me with peace and happiness. Brenda said, as we were relaxing here Sunday night, that although she loved staying in the hotel, being in the carriage house was as delightful and was like a vacation for her and she almost felt like it was her birthday. That's how I feel every day. Yesterday Carla and I had a day like we used to have, when I wasn't working and when the weather was nice. She helped me do my laundry and hang it out to dry, we went to our favorite Vietnamese restaurant for lunch, we ran some errands, we came back here and sat in the garden talking, and we finished the day by watching that old classic The Snake Pit with Olivia deHavilland. It was a wonderful and magical day.

Thanks for "listening."